The Following is FAKE NEWS and is Written by Zadygaga.
Zadygaga works in the healthcare field. In his free time he is a mishnayos salesman and lyricist.
After a deluge of unsubstantiated rumors, Leba Lukshen, a prominent Brooklyn shaitel macher, finally confirmed to our reporters that Hillary Clinton did, indeed, meet with her for a shaitel fitting in Ms Lukshen’s salon. “My other clients were a little uncomfortable having all those Secret Service agents there,” said Leba, “but I told them there was no way around it. I simply couldn’t say no to the former First Lady.”
Leba acknowledged that Hillary was concerned about the $5000 bounty for a plucked strand of her hair announced by securities fraudster and pharmaceutical executive Martin Shkreli. Mr Shkreli claimed that the offer was made it jest, but Ms Clinton refused to take any chances. Thus, the visit to Ms Lukshen’s salon.
“Mrs Clinton was a total newbie when it came to shaitel choices,” Leba added. “She didn’t know if she wanted off the shelf or custom, processed or unprocessed, European or Russian, or an open or closed wefted cap. I had to spend two hours with her explaining all the options. Finally she chose a medium length virgin European hair wig, I think she made a wise choice.”
In Mr Shkreli’s posting he asked specifically for hair shafts that still had the follicle (root) attached. “Mrs Clinton was hoping that my shaitels would have follicles, so that Mr Shkreli would have to pay in case any strands were plucked and delivered to him. Sadly, I had to explain that all shaitel hair is follicle-free. By the way, if you see Hillary in public you’ll know it’s my shaitel if she’s wearing the semi long stacked Bob style with pearl highlights. If you approve, give me a shout out on Instagram.”