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Dear Aleeza,

A friend and I were talking about dating pet peeves and she started ranting about how ghosting is the worst thing a person could do. Well I’ve ghosted in the past when relationships were obviously over. I felt like it was kinder than being blunt or harsh and I didn’t want to hurt the other person or create unnecessary drama. Breakups are never fun but I don’t see how going back over everything that went wrong is any better than just fading out. Is ghosting really that bad?

Sincerely,

Former Ghost

Dear Former Ghost,

For those unfamiliar with the term, ghosting is when someone drops all forms of communication without explanation and further contact. Ghosting is not gender specific and can happen to anyone at any time. I’ve seen it happen to people after a first date, and I’ve seen it after a few months of dating when the other person goes MIA.

My opinion is pretty straightforward: don’t ghost people.

Often people who prefer ghosting justify that they would rather disappear than break up because they don’t want to hurt anyone. But ghosting hurts so much more than simply saying, “I don’t want to go out again.” It creates all sorts of thinking in the other person’s mind.

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